Fragments 004
January 2026
Why do I feel compelled to be a good friend but not a good son? What makes the congenial obligation weigh so much heavier for me than the filial?
Friendships to me appear prospective, the unexplored horizons we can drift towards. Family is retrospective, the lingering of everything said and unsaid. Whenever we’re together there is that sickly smell - disappointment doused in rose compliments. They couldn’t genuinely be disappointed, but none of what matters to me really matters to me and the inverse is true as well. Have I given up my filial duties because I know they’re impossible? Or because I don’t want to find out that I’ve actively failed them time and time again.
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You feel compelled to save the world. Whether that’s possible or not - it’s not - is irrelevant. There will always be a part of you that wants to try, that needs to try and think it’s a moral duty to do so.
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